Saturday, May 30, 2009

I Tried: a poem by leyli littleboots

Leyli is a member of the Roissy/Blackthorne Creative Writing Group. Leyli speaks here of family memories, memories that hover in her tender feelings and erupt through her poetry. Leyli's word choice reveals her talent for revealing her feelings through her art.


I Tried
written by leyli littleboots

I always thought that i could change things
When voices rose that maybe i could lower them
Prevent the fights by slipping in between
Stop the hurts so the fists would never fly

I always hugged, afraid i'd not see them again
Strange how it turned out that they are now all gone
As, one after the other, their lives all changed
And they got farther and farther away from me
I had to help them, had to try

It was my job (i'm older, you know)
They are my family
You do that for family
I tried to intervene as i saw destruction ahead
The dreams they came again and again

The hospital call, the way they looked
How could i know they did all they could?
She went first. I lost her over the years
As she became a ghost-pale shadow
Her kids lost long before she lost herself
Never looking back at unremembered times

He went next as the dreams foretold
How i wept when i heard another was gone!
A life so young, so perfect.
Why?Handsome, smart apple of Dad's eye


I tried to help through the years, speaking out
Cautioning, following, trying to change the path
Hanging out with them, i saw it all
Screw parents who can’t see writing on the wall

A cold metal slab is the last memory i have
And whispering “i love you, i'll see you soon”
Cold hands, no breath, eyes closed, peace
I kissed their foreheads as tears flowed unchecked
Wishing that I could give warmth
Give my life for theirs, please
Shouting to heaven to give them back

I'll never, not ever, forget those days
The long black train surrounded in gray
Eerie mist lay all around and chilled
Smelled of earth the worms well hidden
The goodbyes said and glossy beds lowered

I turned from this to see the drawn faces
My accusing eyes taking in each and every one
It would do me no good to say the words i felt
They could see the damage they had wrought
written by leyli littleboots

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